Forgive me if I “break character” for this one post, but I really need to wordify some thoughts. I promise I’ll try to weave in some g33ky goodness amidst the truth bomb I’m about to toss at you.
When I started this blog back in October of 2015, I was on my way out of a six year relationship. Not just on my way out the door, but sent stumbling, REELING through an emotional vortex that saw me question the entire six years I had spent with this woman. Luckily, having stumbled through vortexes many times before, I have since found my feet on solid ground…and started dating.
Now, I should preface the rest of this by saying that I am an introvert. Not the hide-in-my-cave-and-talk-to-my-action-figures kind of introvert (though if that’s you, let’s hang out!), but I would definitely choose reading a book, or playing video games, over doing most social activities that “normies” participate in.
So here I find myself, at the ripe (and comfortable) age of 35, with a freshly budding desire to go out and meet women again. But where do I even start? I mean, is there a form I can just fill out somewhere? How about training, or an item I can equip that gives me some kind of dating bonus?
leet_g33k casually mentions how nice the collar on your shirt is. CRITICAL HIT! (awesome compliment damage)
The last time I dated, I was still interested in going out to pubs, and events, and mingling with new people. Since that time, however, I made the decision to keep a small, close circle of friends (which includes my two amazing sisters), and very rarely get involved with new people. That’s not to say I can’t – in my line of work I talk to people all day, and I’m really good at it – but I just don’t care to expend the energy anymore, when most of it just seems to disappear into the ether. So now I’m faced with the age old question of: where the heck do I go to meet women? And not just any woman; the ideal woman!
Because let’s face it, I’ve seen enough of life now that I have a very clear picture in my head of the kind of woman I want to create a relationship with. In fact, my brain has already created a solid list of “must haves” before I will even consider going out on a date. I would like to share some with you now (in no particular order):
- she reads books
- she plays video and board games
- she’s into sci-fi/fantasy (books, movies, games – the whole gamut)
- she writes or draws or sings or plays an instrument
- she has her own opinions about most things
- she plays chess (and can beat me at it quite handily)
- she can come to the cabin with my friends and I every fall, and compete in our annual Cabin Games tournament. She can dress up as a character she created, play various lawn games, and not feel weird about it at ALL. And possibly win the actual Cabin Cup (it’d be SO HOT if she won)
- I wouldn’t hold it against her if she had a built-in mp3 player
That list can go on for a long time, but it serves as a good sample of the sort of expectation I have going into this next stage of my life. Between work and the ever-present creative projects in my life, I don’t have enough time (or energy) to go through that initial phase of dating over and over. In fact, if I could use the kind of audition process we do in theatre (and not feel like I was grossly overselling myself), I would. I imagine they might go something like this:
leet_g33k is sitting at a table, scattered with papers. An empty chair sits opposite him. A woman walks in and sits on the chair. leet_g33k: Good day, miss. May I have your name, please? Woman: Yes, of course. It's Anna. leet_g33k: It's a pleasure to meet you, Anna. Thank you for taking the time to see me. Anna: It was no trouble, really. Thank you for having me. leet_g33k shuffles some papers around, looking distracted. leet_g33k: What's your favourite book, Anna? Anna: Well, I haven't read anything since high school, but... leet_g33k: I CAST THEE OUT!!!!!! leet_g33k pulls a hidden lever. Anna falls through a trapdoor.
So yes, I feel like I have to vigorously screen women at this point in my life. Is that…callous? I just really don’t want to go through the whole rigmarole, only to discover that there is in fact some thing that will prevent me from getting closer to someone. I feel like this is some kind of level up bonus we earn through all the glorious (and often confusing) formative years of our dating lives.
leet_g33k is now Level 35! leet_g33k gains the passive skill Recognize Bullshit.
Is it too much to ask for a fucking cheat code?
So I’ve given you the how and the who…and I guess the where. Is there a what? No… No, I’m pretty sure that’s “human female” (although if I’m chosen to go to Mars, I’d totally date a Martian chick). When? Now (or soon). How about why? Well, I can read by myself (and it’s fucking great!), but just about everything else is better with someone. Though I’ll admit, even reading while someone else reads in the same room is an amazingly intimate thing. Go figure.
leet_g33k's brain: Get to the point, Ryan.
Yes, sorry brain. Over the last few weeks, I’ve started to feel disconnected from what I’ve started here at this blog, because strange parts of my brain (some kind of emotion gland, I reckon) are turning back on again, and making me look out the window more often. Every time I sit at my computer, I feel guilty that I’m not spending more time here, and engaging with all of the great creative minds I’ve met through the WordPress community. All of this is to say, friends, that blogging has been a great outlet for me in these last few months. It’s helped my brain to clear some clutter, and given me a place to just let my imagination take over for a spell.
This is a post meant to officially say “Hullo!” and “I’m sorry I haven’t been more present” to everyone I follow, and who follows me, and to re-commit myself to this awesome blogging community. I don’t know how most of you got here, but I’m thankful that you’re here! Because of you, and the other great bloggers I read every day, I’ve been able to keep my brain moving, even if the rest of me didn’t feel like doing very much. You all deserve to have your names engraved on the Cabin Cup.